Awake in the night sleep talking. Shouting out Its all wrong, Its all wrong…dreaming of bikes and cake and otters sleeping in family bundles under a flowing river.


School run went all ok. No fighting. No stress about taking objects in at the last moment for show and tell. No difficulties over teeth brushing. Phew.

Its dark and wet and really urrrrgh.

Stomach bloated and head fuzzy after too much red wine drinking. Watched Doctor Who with N but missed the last few minutes as my guest came in and wanted to talk. It was too late when I got N to sleep last night. It was gone ten.



We went to Manchester. N and P went to the Manchester Museum and I went to the Whitworth Art Gallery. I walked around the art gallery in a daze. I found some interesting things, bent over bottoms pretending to be a mountainous chinese landscape, Cornelia Parkers Magna Carter embroidery, a Peter Lanyon painting, William Blake water colours, Mary Kelly, Gillian Wearing. I couldn’t afford a coffee in the posh cafe restaurant, thats ok. I normally bring a flask. I got a snack from the super market instead.


Gillian Wearing, Steven, Danny, Daniel, Ryan, 1996, photograph, Whitworth Art Gallery

I missed P and N. I needed a rest but thought that they were probably having more fun looking at bones and fossils and mummified cats.


Lui Wei, It Looks Like a Landscape Painting, 2004, Digital photographic print

I will go to the friends group at the Sure Start centre, I am not sure whether it will be relevant but its worth trying. I have a long list of to do, but it would be rude not to at least try to go to this group. I will walk down the road, the canal will be muddy.


S back today. N said that he really missed S over the weekend, he does so love his elder brother. I miss him too. It never feels right just the three of us, we are a family of four. I sent lots of text messages to S but had no reply all weekend. I hope he will be pleased with his new retro racing bike. P seems very keen to learn how to fix it up to its former glory, I think he is secretly envious. He has worked out how to make the chrome wheels nice and shiny by rubbing tin foil onto them. He proudly showed me a shiny bit.

It is quiet, the washing machine has come to the end of its cycle. The rain looks like the drenching type. I will wear a coat, converse boots aren’t very practical but I am not changing them. Best get on my way else I will be late.

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