A feather, a cup of milk, water, toothbrush, snuffly


It has taken till now to find the time to write. I tried early this morning. I tried after my meeting with the Sure Start centre advisor about finding work. I failed each time. I didn’t think I would managed to write a thing today, not a letter, nor a word, a sentence or a full stop.

I almost went to sleep reading to Naoise.

Syd is watching TV in bed. I came upstairs so I could write this. I am sat up in bed with Naoise beside me. P is working downstairs and my guest has gone to bed in the middle room. The house is full.

It is comforting to see these words forming sentences and paragraphs. Filling up space. Am I just filling up space? I could say this with less. If I was a writer I could carve a sentence of exquisite meaning, clarity and simplicity from just a few words. Instead I fill. I fill in space. A space that denotes Thursday.

Cold. Colder. Syd noticed the geese flying south in a V on our way back from his school in the car. I told him that I thought all the swallows had gone, he said he has still seen some. Naoise soundly sleeps. Breathing in and out. Hands raised above head, just as he did as a baby, perfectly relaxed.

I woke at 6.30am. I slept. I felt rested. I am tired from the new term. Sandwich making, uniform washing, alarm clock sounding, school drop off, school pick up, don’t forget your……

I cleaned the toilet the bathroom sink and the kitchen floor, thats about all I  achieved today.  I ticked off the essentials of house maintenance. Haven’t put the recycling out…..

Has it come to this. Telling you about cleaning my toilet? How dull.

Naoise watched Herbie this morning. Naoise got himself out of the shower and dried and into his pyjamas this evening all by himself without needing any of my help.

Naoise played football with his friends. Whist Naoise played football, Helen moaned at her friends, then felt guilty about sounding like a complete moaner, even though her friends listened, were kind and offered practical help. Helen has good friends. Helen needs to remember that she is fortunate to have such good friends.

Naoise went to school on his scooter, I picked up a small white feather from the pavement on our way and suggested that he could take it into to show and tell,  but then to my horror Naoise rejected the feather and decided that we needed to go back home for show and tell. He has no idea about the concept of time passing, or the urgency that I have to get him to school on time.  When we got home he wanted to select a shell or stone from inside the shelf of the bookcase, to do this you have to remove a wooden farm, a rolled up piece of paper, a lamp, more odds and ends. It takes a while. Luckily I found a plastic packet of precious gems with a mini magnifying glass as I was deconstructing the book case and he contentedly took that, so I was saved from filling the table with objects from the bookshelf. What a relief. Although we were now really really, really late. We just got to school on time, the last ones in, but the door was still open and the golden greeter teaching assistant welcomed Naoise inside. PHEW


The Great Mother – exhibition

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