Snakes, Ladders, Scootering, School Jabs

2.38am (awake since 6.45am up at 7am)

Another day. Its sunny, bright, still cold, but the spring is here.

Lost all sense of time and structure with this project, fitting it in when I can. Syd at home unwell, he would rather I make the chocolate chip buns that I promised him an hour ago rather than write this.

Spent the morning editing the breastfeeding film with my friend. Almost done now, he has done the hard work really not me, its his film as much as it is mine. I floated in the background made coffee and crumpets, suggested this and that. Sort of directed things a little I guess. Its great to collaborate. I am so fortunate to have him helping me, I am not sure I would have managed it without the help.

As we work, I watch the scene from the office window that looks down onto the canal. Joggers, walkers, cyclists, a barge, cider drinkers all pass by. Time passes.

On the way back to the house in the car I notice a stray chicken pecking, I wonder who it belongs to, I think about catching it, but how and where would I put it.

Get home take water to Syd, he hates to be left alone, I hate to leave him home alone for long. I wash up and dry some dishes and then make dinner for us.

Syd has managed to restring his guitar, good that he has managed something. I rep up with the supply of pain killers. I wonder, it must have been the MMR jab he had that has made him feel ill. He said that they had to have it done in the school hall, how public, what a lack of thought for the children’s feelings and emotions to make it so. Syd said that he didn’t mind. It is strange though to offer no intimate space for being injected. I have images of sheep in a cattle market. Our children are not animals. I don’t like to think of them being treated this way, on mass. Its efficient I suppose.


After school, Naoise likes to play for a while. He scooters in the top play ground. He scooters in the lower playground. He scooters around the car park and the park. He scrambles up the muddy bank, swings on a rope tied around a branch. He sits in his friends car, sounds the horn, pretends to drive and eats apples and bananas.


He plays with me, snakes and ladders and more scootering. He asks to go home, I don’t have to beg him, things are better, his behaviour is better, maybe he was unwell, maybe that was why he was stubborn and non-compliant last week. Who knows. Who knows why one day is easy the next a challenge. Its a mystery this parenting lark.


I went to get weighed, I have lost another three pounds, this is good, though I haven’t managed to exercise properly the past three days. Maybe tonight when Syd is at his guitar lesson, I will get a walk in, dream about nothing, walk into nothingness.

A plane crash. A friend knows of a mother and their baby who have died in the crash. It is so sad , so tragic. Its scary to think how life can end so abruptly. I typed my condolences in a message. The words felt like air. I hope she finds a physical hug to comfort her grief.

The buzzer on the oven clock sounds twenty minutes gone, almost time to collect Naoise from school.




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