Ply wood dinosaur and the hospital visit

22.15pm ( on the sofa writing in front room)

I am shattered. P is trying to put Naoise to bed, Syd fell asleep half an hour ago. Its really bonkers having a big brother that falls asleep before his little brother.

Strange day. Morning spent building a Velociraptor model with Naoise. One of those models comprised of many pieces of ply wood, with a photograph of the completed dinosaur but no instructions. I was so proud of the model we manage to make. We actually got from beginning to end, and got the model to stand on its own two feet.

In the afternoon I took S to the hospital in Bradford to get an x-ray and ultrasound done on his left foot. Why of why do all hospital car parks have pay and display systems. So stressful. I never carry change and the machines never except cards.

The hospital was overly warm. Me and Naoise played noughts and crosses whilst we waited. I would have rather read the copy of Marie Claire on the coffee table but that was not to be.

The room where the ultrasound examination took place was even warmer and completely airless. No window. Dark. A trainee doctor dressed in an oregano dress came in with the other doctor. Me and Naoise watched Syds foot and bones being magically cast onto the screen.

Last time that I was in an ultrasound department was just before Naoise was born. Checking that the large fibroid wasn’t blocking my birth canal. All was fine and I went home knowing I was going to be having a boy.

Naoise asked me this morning whether I ever wanted a daughter. Yes of cause I said and he replied, you don’t want a daughter mum, they are hard to raise, they are fussy, they don’t do as they are told and they throw their food on the floor. His opinions amuse me. I let him know that actually food throwing isn’t gender specific and as to fussiness. Naoise is the fussiest person I know.

Bit brain dead can’t think of what else to write. An ordinary evening at home, cooking dinner, staring at the full moon, clearing up mess. watching doctor who on the sofa and piles of mess build into towers.

Naoise will be at football school tomorrow, Syd out with friends, me writing a job application and Patrick at work.

Hooray for the house of lords at least managing to delay the chancellors planned tax credit cuts. There is hope. There is some sanity.


The Grand Shattering, by Sarah Manguso, August 2015 ,Harpers Magazine

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