10.06 am ( at the table)
I am still dazed and confused after last nights outing with Syd and then getting up too early this morning to give him a lift to school. Syd is on crutches as he has pulled a ligament in his foot.
We had such a magical time listening to Lucy Rose at the Academy. Its naughty to go out on a Monday but then we rarely go out at all, and this is necessary. Music is essential, it keeps Syd happy and calm. It was booked a long time back for my birthday, a special treat for me and Syd. So that I got to spend some quality time with him. So that I had an event to mark my birthday. Life is short its important to celebrate it. Best to embrace time passing, all the lines and wrinkles and best to see it through with fun.
Its a challenge to manage the age difference between the two children. It feels good when I do manage to spend some time with Syd on his own.
Walking along Oxford Road Syd does ridiculous stunts on his crutches, he is probably more of a liability on the crutches than off them.
At the gig we lean against the steel barrier. We stand and we listen and we smile and we are so happy in the midst of music and young people and energy and positivity.
I watch him studying everything, the loop peddles, the types of guitar, how each musician engages with the audience. He is so passionate great at learning through watching. Observation. Feel. I am reassured that I am not the only older person in the audience, there is a balding man with glasses and a posh watch and his son with messy gelled hair standing next to me.
I am so cold. Probably over tired. Can’t complain though can I. I am tired from having fun. Need to rest. Need to sleep. I don’t think I will get through the day unless I go back to bed. I have Naoise friend coming over to play this evening, The house is a pig stye but hey. The plastic chicken resting on top of the tax return box does’nt complain and neither do the kids. A happy creative mess.
I cannot make sense of this writing today. This art work.
It was a real challenge to get Syd and Naoise to school at the same time, Naoise had to come in the car with me and Syd. I have to drive Syd to school as he is on crutches. I coaxed Naoise up and out of bed with cereal on his lap in bed. This is the height of luxury on a Tuesday. After teeth brushing I had to bundle him in the car without socks on and wrapped in a blanket. We got there. We got there on time, and I completed the ridiculous health and safety form that meant that Syd could officially move around the school on crutches. Naoise sat in the car listening to radio one music.
All is ok. The leaves are tumbling now. Its all tumbling away. Crisp leaves which the children gather in bundles from the tarmac floor of the playground and explore with delight.
Don’t get wound up by the school and there incompetence around Syd’s welfare and education its not worth your energy. Laugh in the faec of it. That the only way.
Cant manage this anymore I just keep staring into the light of the screen. I am a mother blank.