Forgot the washing up liquid

6.41 am

The sun pushes up slowly around six and with the light I wake. I am downstairs by 6.10am, I had wanted to write but there was a pile of unwashed dishes and they were calling out clean me. I forgot to buy the washing up liquid so improvise with washing powder instead. It works, very soapy and slippy.

The radio plays in the background. An article about rubbish collections only once a month, talk about “migrant crises” and quotas.

Its an utterly miserable day as grey as the slate tiles on the roof.

When I collected N from school yesterday he played with his friends in the willow scrub. He called me to come and see where him and his friends were playing. They were all climbing in a laurel bush, climbing high on very thin branches above a concrete fence. They all climbed as high as the leaf line, until their heads could poke out the top. I loved to climb trees at their age but as I watch them climb all I have is fear. Fear and anxiety and I wish N hadn’t come to show me their confidence. They are at ease and happy and very pleased with their climbing. I am glad when their parents call and I can make my way down the bank.

pinkhouseandtherainbow babybathsowerbybridge24:09:15

I am going to a course arranged through Sure Start today its called Tactical Parent Helpers.  I have little idea what it is that I am going too but its meant to be helpful with parents who want to find work in school and as  I am toying with the idea of changing career and becoming a primary school teacher it would seem relevant to me. I will go along with an open mind.

Spent yesterday evening helping my friend with his new home, hoovering, putting up temporary curtains, sorting out bedding, providing a little care. CARE. Later, I went on a late night trip to the super market and forgot all the important things toothpaste, washing up liquid, bread. Syd came with me so I came home with crisps and chocolate and items for his lunches. I was pleased that P put Naoise to bed last night, its been a while since we have changed night time roles and duties. As I was relieved of my night time duties with Naoise I had time to make sandwiches and tidy downstairs a little and make a cup of tea for my friend when he came back to my home.

I can hear P getting up. The cars on the road moving through wet. A bus slowing.

This evening N has a friend coming for tea, Syd will be going to his guitar lesson and then on Friday I can breath a sigh of relief as my mum is coming to visit and she will help muck in with the kids and the domesticity and her company will lift my spirits and bring me energy.



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