Coffee and cocktail fancies with mum at the rocks

7.28am

Another day when I did not get around to writing. I did not take care with this project. The now. The real stuff of life said no. Quite frankly I couldn’t be bothered. After spending most of my day in one room removing blankets of dust from floor, object, wall and ceiling I had little energy left for mulling over and quiet introspection.

Mum helped me, she cleaned the bathroom. I had wanted her to help me to go through Syds old clothes in the three large bags but we never got around to that. So many domestic jobs. I have neglected the house work for so long that the amount of work involved to tame this monster is extreme. Cleaning as extreme sport.

Me and mums one break was drinking a flask of coffee and eating little cakes called cocktail fancies at the bridestones, a beautiful spot with views that reach as far as the peak district in one direction and the yorkshire dales in the other. We sat on a stone and watched a swift. Mum recollected lying down in the sand dunes at Sennon and just falling to sleep for a couple of hours. We were both exhausted after our manic cleaning. Asking your 71 year old mother to help you clean your own home is probably a little too much…..I felt bad when I saw how tired she was….how kind of her to show her love like this. I snapped at her more than once, I am ungrateful, I am full of hate and frustration and anger, if only I could clean these feelings away.

No point of saying any more about yesterday because this is pointless cheating and then there will be nothing to write in todays post !

 

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