Abandoned

I haven’t abandoned my family….it’s a refuge at a conference about mothering. I don’t feel as if I’ve abandoned anyone. I just like the word abandoned…because of the abandoned pram…I’m tired now from listening and talking and hugging and getting inspiration and feeling together with a supportive group of artists and academics…all is hopeful…I’ve drunk two glasses of wine..smoked one cigarette……I’m.returning to stay with my friend..I’m.holding some flowers for her….I’m holding.

I hope the flowers are enough to show my love.

I held hands. I heard voices some were loud…some emotional…

A hand a mind a heart a theory an encounter with others sharing.

Walking to the train this morning I photographed an abandoned black pram. forgotten or collapsed and no longer in use the owner disposed of it on the street, sucking¬† cups and detritus below….

Trying to find the venue for the conference I met a woman heading to court to.do jury service, I thought she was showing me the way…but she wasn’t. She wanted to talk about believing and god…she asked me if I was a believer. I listened I responded to her I told her that I was an atheist.

I got lost.

Today I didn’t want to be lost I wanted to be drinking coffee with friends, talking it easy…I found the place it was fine I even had time for coffee in a paper cup…

This is easy I sit I negotiate place. Elephant and castle…I.have driven around your roundabout many times.

The woman beside me is talking to her mother your getting a bit controlling please stop she is recounting a story…

Grab on too.
You haven’t got any control, it’s ok if your going to latch onto me.
I feel uncomfortable writing this woman’s story this overheard conversation

Hello hello it’s Patrick trying to ring I can’t talk not here…have to watch where I am, watch the stations, watch for catford

Messages from mum…Naoise in shower…
Message from Patrick…Naoise wanted to say goodnight.

I feel bad she hasn’t got anyone else(woman beside me talking to her mother again).

I wonder if the pramwill still be on the street. I’ll photograph it if it’s still there.

Things are temporal, you can’t catch everything…all the information comes in..seeps in…unable to filter..

Natalie Loveless….work with a smart phone….

A man talking to himself…doing sums…people staring at phones but his screen is a calculator.

I wonder what he is counting?  Why he is counting out loud?

8… It should be 16…

The abandoned pram was gone…

Spoke to Naoise said goodnight….spoke to.syd he thought I.was at the South Bank not the Elephant and Castle, so did I,….I had a romantic idea that I would be staring at the river Thames. Instead I continued to get lost all day, down a rabbit warren of corridors…

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