…running away from the flock



(before running- Naoise asleep 5.30am)

Sweat on my skin. Red cheeks. Cars beeping on the road, a man waving back in response. Neighbour in high visibility yellow jacket walking up the road to work. Back from the run. Naoise woke me at 5.30am, he had fallen out of the bed and had managed to stop his fall by holding his arms up in a bridge between the bed and the floor. I couldn’t fall back to sleep, seemed little point of lying and stewing in negative thoughts, so took the opportunity and ran with it.


(after running- Naoise asleep 6.45am)

There is some blue between the overcast of the morning.

The retired man who lives in the canal lock house is out fishing with his rod. It always seems wrong to me to fish in the dirty murky still depths of the canal, surely the flow and the wild of the river would better. Still he smiles and I do too and I am surprised at how many people are up before six. I cross the little foot bridge over the canal and walk up the Pexwood Road.

The bluebells are beginning to shrivel and die. The apple blossom has dropped. Everything so fleeting.

Thought I might see some interesting wild life at this time in the morning but nothing, just the usual ravens and crows. The lambs are growing very big and fat. I pass one who is knelt forward balanced on her front knees, chewing the breakfast grass.

The fields are full of sheep shit, you cannot avoid it with your step.

On the table a tray full of plaster dust where last night Naoise was digging out a dinosaur. I don’t have much time to write this, Patrick is out the shower and I can hear him getting dressed, he will want to talk to me before leaving for work.

The house is a scene of plastic toy devastation, monopoly here, spy glasses there, knex plastic littering the floor, books, notes, drawings, scissors, box of pencils, ¬†a tea towel…..even crumbs between the keys of my laptop. A tray piled high of broken lego models to my left. I need to clean up this mess. Not now though. Not now. Next week when the children are back at school.

I need to mound up the potatoes, repot the courgette plants that have outgrown the old ones.

Syd’s second day of cycling the coast to coast route. I have had messages from him. Yesterday he saw owls and weasles as he rode across the top of Cumbria. So pleased of his appreciation of nature. I miss his presence at home. All is still.

Mind empty, just the sound of the birds between the zoom of the cars. Patricks footsteps heavy on the floor boards above.

Beep beep beep beep the buzzer on the oven clock sounds.

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