When red light shows wait here

8:03 (awake since 6.30 am)

Woke up, Naoise beside me giggling in his dreams. Its early. Downstairs check the kitchen clock 6.30am. Wash all the dishes from the night before. Scrubbing off the rice sticking to the wooden spoon, swilling out a pool of yellow custard. Have a shower. Weigh myself, concerned that I have been drinking too much wine, slipping back into bad habits, I think I ate two pieces of cake yesterday though I cannot be sure.

Good Friday. A wet miserable day for christ to die on the cross, or to see a mummers play. Must make hot cross buns. The cross on a yeasty bun is as christian as it gets in our house. Perhaps later the house will fill with the gorgeous smells of cooking yeasty bun.

My cousin comes down stairs. I make her tea and toast and we discuss the meaning of dreams. Dreams about the Men an Tol in Cornwall, fertility, and a baby being born. A baby a perfect baby , held in arms and cared for. What does it mean to dream of a baby? Is it a maternal wish for a child? Does the baby suggest that the self is being re-born.¬†I feel so alive¬†Is the baby an inner child, a part of a person wishing to be known, to exist. To dream of a baby. I’m sure that I do dream but I don’t remember any of my dreams right now. I day dream instead.

The only good thing about the red traffic light that has appeared on the main road directly outside the front of the house is that it is slowing the flow of the traffic. It is far quieter and calmer.

I cannot be bothered to write anything else, I would rather speak to my cousin.



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