Frosty Monday

6.40am ( awake since 5.45am up at 6am)

You can see that there was a frost last night, white ice is clinging to the yellow grass on the moor, and the windscreen of the car is thick with it. The sun is just rising a peach orange above the roof line of the terrace on the other side of the road.

It looks as if it will be a bright clear sunny but cold day, I hope that I manage a walk. Fresh spring days such as these are a pleasure to be out in. The sun is rising higher and it lights up the fluff of the clouds.

The house has reached new levels of crazy dome. There are feathers scattered all over the red rug, it looks as if a cat has had a kill, and there are three large  black bin bags of laundry in the kitchen. I had a panic last night when I discovered a nit infestation in Naoise hair. The poor love, he had quite a little community going on in his gorgeous blonde locks. I am itching my scalp now thinking of it. So it was a very busy Sunday evening. The whole family ended up having the comb and shampoo treatment; just in case, and I had to strip all the beds and covers. Yuk.

I felt rather neglectful that I hadn’t noticed the little friends that he had required previously. I think that me and Patrick have been rather busy and distracted lately. His poor little head was covered in red marks where they had been eating him. Oh how I hate these nasty creatures. We are lucky, I guess this is the first infestation that I have had to treat. Last time I had nits was back in my student days and I caught a head full from my boyfriends long locks. My dear friend L helped to de-nit me, such a sisterly act of kindness to perform. I was wincing with the horror of it, as I combed and inspected Naoise scalp.

On top of the nit drama, Patrick has fallen ill with a fever and a strange red rash, and Naoise seems very lethargic and a little hot too. I am planning a double trip to the GP’s today. Oh joy, oh joy the joys of motherhood.

Earlier in the day, I took our Syd to buy some new school shoes in Manchester. We had the usual arguments and grumpiness about which shoes he could have. His school are very specific about what is permissible. It has to be black, formal, lace ups, no logos. This is very limiting, but if you are going to have a uniform then you might as well be strict about it, else there is simply no point. I am glad that   no logos are allowed. Logos cost a load of money, they live on badly made footwear and are walking advertisements for big nasty international corporations.

I hate shopping and I am glad when the job is done and the shoes are in the bag. Now that the deed is done, Syd immediately transforms into a the lovely sensitive boy/man again. We walk pass Selfridges and he tells me a story. Did you know mum that they put spikes all around the outside of the shop building so that homeless people couldn’t shelter or sleep there. I tell him that I did know that, that I am impressed he has heard the story that he is recounting. I speak to him about the fact that thousands of people signed a petition to get them removed, and that they won. I probably should have used this as an opportunity to move on and discuss other issues around homelessness but our conversation wondered elsewhere.

We drove back to Syd’s DJing. He is brilliant at entertaining me with all his music knowledge. Teenagers can be difficult and tricky sometimes but you know what they are so so cool and so so amazing too. I love my Syd he is totally awesome.

Later after I have got the man and little boy to bed, me and Syd sit down to watch a bit of The Voice. I massage his bare feet. We eat super together, and then retire to sleep.


I have been thinking of these two photographs from 2013 for a while, and I managed to find them this morning. The images were taken before Naoise went to school . We are standing on the Pexwood Road, its the summer, the pram is overladen with shopping, I think we were returning from either the nursery or a playgroup trip. I can remember at the time, dreaming of an easier future, where Naoise would be at school, and I would have all the time in the world to seek out paid employment and work in the studio. Why did I wish this precious time away? I miss it now, I really do, yes it was intense and I was exhausted and there seemed like there was no space at all for me, but strangely the time that school has given seems so little and insignificant. I miss our days together, our days of playing and dreaming and watching the slow of life and muddling through.





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