Day four: House of Illness
7.00am ( awake at 6.15am up at 6.20am)
Is it snow or is it sleet? What began as sleet is slowly making its way to being snow. Wet snow. Loads of it. Just when I thought that we had left the death of winter behind, the weather turns. It has to be said the weather here is on the whole miserable, or changeable to be polite. A sunny day is a rarity and one to be rejoiced in, winter can last through to April.
Its red nose day. I am going to try and get Naoise to school, though its hard to conjure up enthusiasm when everyone else is in bed at home. I love my family dearly but I need the company of friends too. I need to be able to work. I cannot work amidst caring for three people its impossible.
I had a disagreement with Patrick. Conflict is inevitable when the whole family is caged in, our house is tiny, there is no place to hide, one has to escape into a book or the imagination to be set free. I began to draw to try to cheer myself up, but instead I cried, and the wet of my tears fell onto the paper. Naoise cheered me up by drawing a happy picture of me and him holding hands.
Syd learnt an Arctic Monkeys song. This involved him playing the same rift on repeat for about four hours. He is so bloody good but it does take practise, lots of it and so demands lots of patience from parents too. Me and Naoise drew and built lego and read and stuck stickers onto pictures of Knights in their underwear and slept.
I managed a run, the television can provide baby sitting duties for a short while. I have to get out to keep sane. It was all grey and foggy, I found a new path. Its good to attempt to get lost, or at least discover new routes, new places, new ruins.