Whispering words to Ana Mendieta
Written yesterday between 1pm-2pm in the afternoon to post today 07/02/15 (broke my rules, need to rest, need a lie in)
How can we see in our dreams when our eyes are closed ? : Naoise to his Dad (4th february)
Patrick attempts to explain dreams and the unconscious on the walk to school.
I have been walking with my eyes closed. I need to really see, not just in my dreams but in the day.
“My art is grounded in the belief of one universal energy which runs through everything: from insect to man, from man to spectre, from spectre to plant from plant to galaxy. My works are the irrigation veins of this universal fluid. Through them ascend the ancestral sap, the original beliefs, the primordial accumulations, the unconscious thoughts that animate the world”
― Ana Mendieta
I am thinking of you Ana Mendieta, I am lying down in a bed of snow with you. Whispering in your ear. Asking you to help me. How do I find my location. I am quite enjoying being lost. I am enjoying just exploring, touching, feeling. Finding a spiritual self in the landscape. Perhaps I should make love to mud and ice and stone ? Or just go home and do the washing up, hoover the floor, make the dinner. The house is looking just a little too chaotic and unkempt. The house has gone wild and it is crying out for love and order. It is not good when the creativity takes over. Slow down, slow down.
I screamed. I screamed out loud, but it seemed too polite, need to practice again. I felt too self conscious.. I liked the sound reverberating through out the valley. Perhaps, I need some partners in crime to scream with me. Any one out there want to join me on a primal scream walk ?
Puffing and panting up the hill, I thought about deep breathing whilst having sex, whilst giving birth. I am getting a little sick of recording these actions. Perhaps I just need to do them without the pressure of recording. Do the actions for there own sake. Rehearse, Rehearse. Its ok to fail, remember that. Its ok to fail, to ask questions, to find that there is no outcome. Nothing profound, nothing new, just old ground. The earth.
Perhaps when I take the actions back into the domestic space of the house, present them inside. The outside,inside. Is that about taming, trying to understand nature ? Its frightening. You cannot tame nature or humans. Humans need to walk free, and nature is free. Can you find a primal female universal self through making art ? Can you Ana Mendieta ? I will meet you in my dreams Ana, have a chat, a cup of tea, put the world to rights.
The snow is a field of diamonds.
I am writing this now as I need a rest. I don’t want to wake up in the morning. I need to sleep and not feel that I have to wake and write and stare at screens and constantly interact and communicate. I don’t want my life just to be words drifting across electronic screens. There is more to life than this.